hell yes lets make some ravioli
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
