HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
