The maid of honor just puked.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Small penises have feelings too.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
