i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
