evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize