U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
