I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
