Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
