Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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