im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize