I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
