yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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