Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
