i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
