party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
