I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
