Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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