Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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