Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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