Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
