The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
