I just saw a hot homeless man
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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