i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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