Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
