I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
