You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
