We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
