...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Will exercising make me less horny?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
