why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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