Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize