I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
