I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
