I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
