Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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