Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
be right there i have to get my cape
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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