Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
