Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
