after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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