He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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