What a fucking waste of an outfit
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
