mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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