Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
