I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
