dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
