Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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