yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
