if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
