used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize