just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
