omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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