Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I puked a lego.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
