Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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