either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
