hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
