I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
