On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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