help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
