Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
