The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
