Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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