perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize