Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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